New Bottle

Written by Anakin McFly

hi chris

"Zach!" Chris beamed at his totally-platonic-friend. "Look what I found!" He proudly held up his newest discovery, a water bottle that gave off oddly-human vibes.

it's a bottle

Chris nodded vigorously, his unnaturally-blue eyes sparkling azurely in the Silver Lake sun. "Yeah, isn't it great?" He smiled lovingly at his newest acquisition, gently caressing its sleek plastic body.

it's. a. bottle.

Chris grimaced. "Look, I don't complain when you have your weird love affairs with your fughats. The least you could do is extend the same courtesy to me, okay?"

i don't date my fughats. i thought you already had a bottle.

"Nah, that one got old and started smelling weird. But it's... not really cheating, is it?" Chris asked, looking suddenly concerned. "I mean, it's still a bottle."

don't drag me into your weird relationship dilemmas, whitelaw.

"No, it's not cheating," Chris agreed with himself. He twisted open the cap on his new bottle and took a long, satisfying swig, cheerily licking his lips with his pinetongue when he was done. "Ahhhhh," he sighed in bliss. He smiled at the bottle again, and patted it affectionately before tucking it securely into a holster by his waist. "See you, Zach!"

And with that, he bounded off into the sunset, New Bottle by his side.

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