The Death of Pizza the Hutt

Written by Anakin McFly

It was a dark and stormy night on the planet Tatooine. Safely in his palace, Jabba the Hutt snored peacefully, as did everyone else around him.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door which woke up all the sleepers. The door crashed to the floor, revealing a man standing in the doorway.

"Who are you who dares disrupt the beauty sleep of the all powerful Jabba?" Jabba inquired in Huttese, yawning away.

"That is not important. I come from a long time ago, in a galaxy very, very, very, very far away. I have come to bring you news of the death of your brother, Pizza the Hutt."

Jabba's expression turned to one of shock. "W...what do you mean? How..."

"They say he got stuck in his limo and ate himself to death.

For a moment, there was silence.

"No... not Pizza!" Jabba exclaimed in English, drawing gasps of surprise from everyone.

"You speak English?" a bewildered palace guard asked.

"Yes. Pizza taught me, " Jabba replied, close to sobs at the mention of his late brother. "How can he be dead? How? Tell me it isn't true! Please!"

"It is."

"No. No." Jabba's voice suddenly increased in volume. "I bet it was that scoundrel, Lone Starr! Pizza told me all about him, and how he always refused to pay him back his cash... he and that weird friend of his, Barf... Pizza can't be dead... no... NOOOOOOOO!"

There was lightning, followed by a clap of thunder which drowned out all of Jabba's last scream. And his palace collapsed on top of him.

#