My Night With Keanu
Standing just three metres from a god is an experience this fan is unlikely to forget.
Okay I'll admit it. I'm more than a little obsessed with a lad called Keanu. Reeves, that is. Like there's any other ... Like your average irrationally fixated lass who worships at the altar of Keanu, I knew the only chance I'd have to breathe the same air as his-gorgeousness was to get to a gig by his band, Dogstar at the hip Sydney venue, The Metro.
After all, I've given up hope of our eyes meeting across a grungy bar and having Keanu decide he can't possibly live without me. It's quite tragic. But I'm not alone in that. The red velvet curtains parted and I discovered the horrible truth. Keanu was standing on the other side of the stage from where I was. Grabbing my fellow Keanu-fiend by the hand, we were across the room in three quick ducking and weaving strides. The funny thing was, so was the rest of the 900-strong audience. It was more than a little obvious. And there I was, standing right in front of; and no more than three metres away from... HIM!
Dogstar's lead singer; Bret Domrose, and drummer Rob Mailhouse could have been buck naked - and still the crowd wouldn't look. They just made the rather unfortunate decision to be in a band whose bass player happens to be God.
Pity poor Rob Mailhouse. Like Keanu, he's an actor you might remember him as Elaine's gay boyfriend on Seinfrid. But now he's better known as just "the guy who play drums in Keanu's band".
And the music? Damn good, if only you could tear your attention away from Keanu's magnificent arms. So many veins to ogle with every chord played... who was listening to the music?
Keanu kept his eyes lowered for most of the gig, obviously out of respect for his buddies because he knows the hysteria he creates with every little upward glance and sheepish "How-cute-am-I?" grin. Or maybe he was just concentrating really hard. It was the kind of look you would imagine he'd have if you managed to persuade him to ..... well, you know.
I've always considered rabid fans a bit whacko, but when it comes to Keanu, I'm convinced the man can do no wrong.