Total Film (UK), December 1998

Rough Cut - Movie News

Keanu goes Kojak

Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh! And that, dear reader, is how girls aim their screams at former Hollyhunk Keanu Reeves (it tends to get louder the closer he gets). His new look's a far cry from the hirsute parachute sported in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and even the most myopic dunce can see that Mr Reeves' head has undergone what's best described as a Duncan Goodhew.

Less heroin chic, more Romanian Orphan, Reeves was first spotted flaunting his shaved-eyebrow-and-cue-ball combo at Sydney Airport. There were initial concerns that the Point Break star had just escaped from some celebrity vivisection unit hired to keep the rising population of Hollywoods most useless stars at a tolerable level.

No such luck. Keanu's bulging egg-skull is in fact down to a starring role in upcoming sci-fi thriller Matrix, which requires, for reasons best known to the script, the stubble-burning of his scalp and face. Consequently he's been lumbered with this dodgy chemotherapy makeover and - fair play to him - with an image like that he's hardly in the position to make a secret of it.

Reeves was last seen flaunting his gaunt wax-bonce at the House Of Blues in LA, where he was performing with his sub-grunge band Dogstar. Fans were not amused. "He looked a million miles away from the Keanu we all know and adore,' one Keanu-liker blubbed after being confronted by the distressing slaphead. "You needed to have a long stare until you realised who it was. He looks ill. It was quite upsetting..."




Tagged:

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure , Point Break , Matrix, The , Dogstar




You need to be a member to leave comments. Click here to register.