Angels with Swinton Faces

by Devin Faraci

So I have to admit that I think Tilda Swinton is kind of hot, and I don’t know if that’s in spite of or because of the fact that she sort of looks like Radiohead’s Thom Yorke. She’s a fine actress and it’s always good to see her getting work – even if it is in a hive inducing movie like the soon to be filming Constantine.

She’s in negotiations to play the role of the angel Gabriel in the film, which de-Limeyfies the character of John Constantine from Hellblazer comics and makes him Keanu Reeves. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Gabriel is a rogue angel battling Constantine. It’s info like this that makes me cringe even more at this production – is the archangel Gabriel (who is a dude, but getting Swinton to play him is pretty cool as angels are often portrayed as fairly androgynous, a la David Bowie) the bad guy in this movie or are the writers – who have reportedly scripted “an occult Dirty Harry” (fucking hell that sounds stupid) so lame and out of touch with the hierarchy of the angels that they just picked a name they heard and ran with it?

I like to reserve judgement on stuff like this, since you really don’t get a true taste of a picture from the pre-production press, but I will say that all of this sounds like endless, painful shit.