The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (US), December 11, 2003
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno(Transcripted by Spikelet)
Jay Leno(JL): Welcome back, have a seat. Good to see you.
Keanu: Thanks Jay, you too!
JL: Congratulation on all your successes, it has been a great year for you
Keanu: Yeah, thank you ... it's been absolutely extraordinary.
JL: ...and you just had a birthday, you turned 39, how does one celebrate, you're a big movie star, what do you do?
Keanu: Uhh, what did I do? ...I went out to dinner.
JL: Oh, okay. So you went out to dinner, what happened?
Keanu: I went out to dinner. Well, I actually, uhmm...the truth? The truth is I went out to dinner and I..., I..., it was a contemplative birthday, so I went out to dinner by myself, I had a salad, a steak, some wine ...
JL: You went out to dinner by yourself??
Keanu: Yeah, I just wanted to sit down ... (sounds of sympathy from the audience)
Keanu: (to audience) Well, let me tell you what I ... You don't know what I did after dinner... I'm not, I'm not gonna tell you...
JL: Oh, okay, what did you do after dinner?
Keanu: I'm not saying, ...
JL: What did you contemplate, I mean did you ...
Keanu: ...but it was good, it was good.
Keanu: Well, it's been ahh really, it's been an extraordinary year, I just wanted to sit and think about things, and ahh, turning 39...
JL: oh, that sounds like it's a tough year...
JL: Now, that's sounds like,...
Keanu: yeah, yeah
JL: ... like you say 39,
JL: ...that's the second time you said that. Is that bad, turning 39?
Keanu: No. It's really..
JL: You know, next year is.
Keanu: What do you think 39 is about?
Keanu: 39 is about turning 40.
JL: I'm just saying,... You want to lie down on the couch, we can talk about this. Tell me about 40. Is that a problem for you?
Keanu: No, it's okay, I mean it's just, you know it's one of those it seems like one of those kind of birthdays about mortality, about...
Keanu: It wasn't like that for you??
JL: No, no we're talking about you now...
Keanu: Well, what about you? What happens...
JL: Well, what did you think, I've already been to 40 and once you pass it, you're not allowed to give the secret until other people ... you see what I'm saying... If I was to share it with you, then I would be kicked out of the over 40 club.
Keanu: ...over 40 club?!
JL: I mean, did you think, when you where a kid, okay, I'm 40, well, I'll probably be dead by then, did you think you'd be married, have kids, working at the lumber mill, what, what did you think???
Keanu: No, I didn't, I..., when you're a kid you don't think about 40, it's like that mythical grown up thing, it's like it's over, and then, when you are that thing, it's, its uhhh ...
JL: Do you find a crisis?? Are you going though a midlife ...
Keanu: Well, no crisss..., you know, it's contempt with it, it's like half way through your life ... you're kind of..., you, you uhmm...
JL: So, you're only gonna live 'til 80?
Keanu: (laughs) Okay, so obviously it wasn't a big deal for you! ... and it's not a... you know, but for me,... I mean, I also think it's kind of like, when you know, when you're turning 30 was the thing , you remember 29 and then..., once you're 30 then it's like ohh, 30 isn't so bad, and so I'm thinking maybe once you're 40 and you get into the 40 club ...
JL: It's gonna be awful for you!!
Keanu: Oh, really?
JL: Everything just stops!
JL: It looks like, it looks like ...
Keanu: There is Viagra for that (laughing)
JL: If you need it, I guess you need it. Did you ever have a surprise party? Did anybody ever, while you where trying to contemplate suddenly "Surprise"?
Keanu: Yeah, I had a ... actually I had a great 30th birthday, my friends threw a surprise birthday when I turned 30. I thought I was going to play some ice hockey, and just going out, and I got to this ice rink and there were,... like 100 people there and it was at this ice rink, and I don't know if you feel like this, but when you go to a ..., when you have a surprise party, part of you like hates everyone who's there, you're like, you're just like arrgh, you hate it, so I mooned everybody, I threw my pants down, I mooned everyone, and just said thank you and then, and then ... and then you love everybody, and then you love everybody and we had a, it was a really,... actually extraordinary evening...
JL: See, mooning, mooning you could do at 30.
Keanu: Yeah, right!
JL: ... at 40, maybe a half moon is a little bit better, the moon tends to... the moon...
Keanu: ...sets. The moon sets. (Both laugh. Show break)
JL: Welcome back, talking with Keanu Reeves who is apparently going through some sort of midlife crisis!
Keanu: Not anymore!
JL: Well, you know what's interesting though, something different now, because I know, you just got, I think, it's your first house?
Keanu: Yeah, I bought my first house.
JL: You didn't live anywhere.
Keanu: No, ...(laughs) I was like in the internet
JL: (to audience)When we were trying to contact him we'd have to like, leave a package near the dumpster behind the... you know, because you didn't live anywhere.
Keanu: No, it was hotels, and uhhh, my sister's guestroom for 9, 10 years.
JL: Tell me about this, are you a grown up now?
Keanu: Am I a grown up?
JL: Yeah, you know, you buy a house, that make's you a grown up.
Keanu: Well, you have grown up's responsibilities, it was great, I went house hunting, and then I uhhh, I walked into the place, and I just went this is it, this is where I need to rest, for a while.
JL: You didn't say that to the realtor, did you?
Keanu: I know they're worried about me...
JL: No, don't ever do that, this is the one I want, now you're screwed.
Keanu: Now you're screwed, the price just ... went up.
JL: You have to go, ohh, this sucks, I need something..., oohh, alright, how much? You see?
Keanu: Yeah, yeah.
JL: Is it furnished?
Keanu: No, I had no furniture, I got rented furniture right now,
JL: You rented furniture?
Keanu: I rented my furniture because I don't know what to put in it yet, so I rented the furniture, I got rented furniture.
JL: So, what do you like, you have modern taste, do you like,... do you like modern stuff? What kind of furniture?
Keanu: Yeah, I like modern furniture. Okay, I was in uhhh, I was working on Something's Gotta Give, and we were filming in Paris and so I went looking for furniture to see what I like, and I go, they have great places to look at modern furniture, so I go into this one place, and there's a book, and I go, oh, I like that, it was kind of like a two seat, kind of little outside chair, and I was like, ahh, I like that, do you have one of those, he goes yes, well great, uhhh, can I look at it, or have it? Yes. Uhhh, how much is it? It was 240.000 Euros, which is about $280.000!!!
JL: For a chair?
Keanu: For a chair! It's a damn fine chair...
JL: Yeah! I think so.
Keanu: ... but it won't be in my house. It's still there.
JL: Now, you didn't say to the guy, oh, this is where I want to relax, I have to have this chair, see that's how they get you.
Keanu: That's how they get you?
JL: That's how they get you! Now, tell us about Something's Gotta Give. I love this movie, Diane Keaton was here last night, I really thought it was terrific, it's a romantic comedy, I'm not a romantic comedy guy and I went, this worked for me, I thought it was terrific, tell people who you play.
Keanu: I play a doctor, Dr. Julian Mercer, who uhmm, Jack Nicholson's character has a heart attack and I provide the care and through uhhh kind of romantic comedy, whacky circumstances he ends up at Diane Keaton's character's house and I uhhh, when I go to pay a visit to check up on my patient, I fall in love with Diane Keaton.
JL: Now, have you ever fallen in love with an older woman?
Keanu: Fallen in love? (questioning look)
JL: ...alright...have you ever...
Keanu: uhhh, no, no, ... (audience starts laughing)
JL: ... alright...
Keanu: No, no, I didn't mean it like that,...
JL: ... had sex...
Keanu: No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that, no, no, no, I mean, I guess I don't, uhmm,
JL: Have you ever dated an older lady, ...
JL: ...older woman?
Keanu: Yes, yes, I mean, what is that thing...? I mean...
JL: Did you ever have a crush on an older woman?
Keanu: Yes, I've had a crush on an older woman, yes, yes, when I, I was working on a film called Parenthood once, I got on my knee and proposed to Diane Wiest.
JL: You proposed??!
Keanu: I proposed.
JL: Well, that's more than a crush.
Keanu: But I was a kid! What do we know, what do you know?
JL: What did she say?
Keanu: No!... I was like,... actually she was very nice, she kind of laughed and said, you're very charming, and get off your knee, and..., leave me alone.
JL: Now, tell me about Jack Nicholson. What was he like? He could teach you something about... proposing...
Keanu: Everything! He could teach you about anything, the guy is amazing, he's absolutely amazing, he's uhh, he's uhh, charming, he's such a talented actor, wonderful, humorous, just anything you think about him, but it's uhhh, he works so hard at what he makes look so easy, and I just uhhh...
JL: Now, he has some nude scenes in the movie, you kind of see his rear end in the hospital a lot.
Keanu: Yeah, yeah it's a comedy!!
JL: Did that change your uhhh... (the audience starts laughing)
Keanu: Oh, oh no!
JL: So, what you're saying is ...
Keanu: No, no, no! you're getting me in trouble here...
JL: Oh, I see, ...
Keanu: No, all I'm saying, I mean ...
JL: So, Jack Nicholson has a funny ass, is that what you are saying?
Keanu: Noo, nooo!!!
JL: This man you admire...
Keanu: No, whenever you show your ass it's funny, except at your surprise birthday party, but that's funny too! No, but I'm..., the thing is uhmm, the thing I'd like to speak about is, I, when I, (audience is still laughing) when I was working with him, I kind of found, because I wanted to watch the master, so there was a part of me that was, ...I remember, one time we were filming and he was speaking with Diane Keaton, he knows everything about cinema, cinema acting, so I found myself kinda, just, whenever he would speak, I would like listen, see what he was doing, and I remember this one time, I was leaving the set and there was all these lighting stats and stuff and he started talking, I stopped, and I was just kind of looking at him, ... and I thought to myself, Keanu, you're stalking, you're an actor stalker right now, you're stalking Jack Nicholson, and I was just like, you have to not be doing this! You can't be peering! And so I, I left. But he is actually..., he's amazing, he is absolutely.
Then they watch a clip of the movie and that's it. He did stay for the rest of the show.