Keanu Awakens Robin Wright Penn's Sexuality
by Josh Tyler
Keanu Reeves, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Alan Arkin, and Monica Bellucci have joined the cast of what sounds like some sort of crazy, old people sex drama. It’s called The Private Lives of Pippa Lee and it stars Robin Wright Penn as a 50-year-old housewife who starts exploring her buried sexuality when her husband screws around with a younger woman. So she buys a bunch of vibrators, and then has a nervous breakdown. I made up the vibrators part, but not the part about the breakdown.
Alan Arkin is the husband who runs off with a younger woman, which seems rather bizarre. Isn’t he like 90? Odd casting choice. Keanu Reeves will play Robin’s experimental young stud, Maggie will be Penn’s diet-pill addict mother in flashbacks, and Monica Bellucci will play one of Arkin’s previous wives… the lucky bastard. Also in the movie are Julianne Moore as a Lesbian novelist, Winona Ryder as the younger woman Arkin runs off with (jeezus he’s going to have fun making this movie), and Ted McGinley as the wacky neighbor.
This movie has to be better than the plot synopsis I attempted above. I’m sure I’ve gotten it all wrong. Lesbian writers, pill-poppers, Cougars, and Keanu oh my! It’s written and directed by the daughter of Arthur Miller, Rebecca Miller, which makes the whole project sound rather credible in spite of all confusing and seemingly ill-fitting characters involved.