by David Cake
This weekend I joined best friends Kasey and Kurtz at our local movie theatre to see The Day the Earth Stood Still. None of us were expecting the movie to blow our minds. But we like movies, and making fun of movies, and I like Keanu Reeves in a way that's almost like we're related, or at least kindred spirits. We both have dark hair, we're both mildly attractive, and we're both not winning awards but should be, and we're both some how well liked. I'll see a movie just because Keanu Reeves is in it, unless it's a Disney movie or some shit like that.
I enjoyed the movie. Did it end up blowing my mind? No. Was I entertained enough to almost single-handedly finish a medium bag of expensive popcorn? Yes. Has my love of Mr. Reeves diminished? Not in the slightest.
There are certain roles that call for his handsome face and even delivery. Who else could be Neo? What other white guy could play The Buddha? Who else could pull off Johnny Utah, or Johnny Mnemonic for that matter? No one, that's fucking who. Keanu Reeves is a working man, and I bet he's rich as balls. He does a lot of work, and from the Matrix trilogy alone he probably picks up his dog's turds with twenties. And you never see him in the tabloids! No insane purchases, no scandals, no yo-yoing weight or plastic surgery. He goes to work, he kicks some ass, then he goes home and rides his motorcycle and watches some television. I'd take Keanu Reeves over half a dozen other so-called "good" actors any day.
These are the kinds of arguments I made to Kasey on our way home from the movie. While she doesn't hold him in as high regard as I do, she does find him quite fetching in Constantine. Imagine my delight when this entertaining site was singing the same tune. While other people may call him a tool, I call him the right tool for the job.
As for the movie itself, I'll probably buy it when it comes out. Not on it's release date mind you, but when I inevitably see it in stores I'll snatch it up. It had good special effects, Jennifer Connelly is purdy, and Gort was pretty bad ass. The movie could have gone a lot further in many areas but I understand the reason it pulled it's punches. They're not going to make an American film that's basically all about foreign invaders coming down and blowing the shit out of the US military for an hour and a half. While they did make some points about the military, having our hardworking men and women on the front lines getting their asses summarily handed to them in violent and exciting ways by a sweet ass robot from space and his buddy isn't something I see getting made any time soon. I would enjoy such a film, but it'd have to made in Germany or Sweden or something to come off like this movie could have.
The most annoying part of the movie? Will Smith's son. Jayden or whatever. I hated that kid. At one point I actually flipped him off and the people sitting behind me laughed. He was a ton worse actor than Keanu Reeves but you don't hear people busting his balls. Probably because he's all young and shit, and has cool hair.