Dlisted (US), September 22, 2010

Keanu And A Cupcake

Who frowns at an innocent and sweet cupcake? Who stares at a cupcake as though it's the reason why their urethra is swollen to the point where the jizz just dribbles out? Who looks down at a cupcake like it's the cause of that annoying ass mosquito buzzing in their ear in the middle of the night and waking them up? KEANU REEVES DOES! Frowning at a cupcake is like frowning at a bowl full of kittens.

It's as if Mel Gibson and White Oprah simultaneously queefed on his cupcake. If something as perfect as a cupcake can't cure Keanu of the chronic sads, then what can?!

In his defense, Keanu is shooting some move called Generation Um, so it's possible that his character is the one who feels nothing when faced with a sugary cake of happiness. But Keanu makes it look so real. STAINS is still putting him on notice.


Article Focus:

Sad Keanu and the 4th June 2010 Enlightenment


Sad Keanu and the 4th June 2010 Enlightenment


(2010-09-26 01:49:33)
 *imagines Keanu frowning at a bowl full of kittens*
see, that's exactly the kind of thing Constantine would do... :
Methinks Constantine needs this (2010-09-26 02:54:25)
 We should pool our money and buy JohnCon one of these, then: http://lolmart.com/product/kitteh-sleep/
(2010-09-26 03:28:45)
I'd love to see his face when he finds that basket on his doorstep...

see, Warner? there's your plot for the sequel. :D one kitty is a portal to heaven, one to hell. what would Connie do ?
answer: get a ginger tabby cat instead :D

Heaven vs Hell? (2010-09-26 04:00:13)
 Kitties as portals to heaven or hell? That'd be Longcat vs Tacgnol: http://lolmart.com/product/reprint-catnarok-longcat-vs-tacgnol/
(2010-09-26 09:47:26)
mc_girl (2010-10-01 09:59:13)
I almost feel sorry for him... C'mon.. A man cant eat a simple cupcake in peace!!!
I LOVE to see his pics and know the news bout him, but it is TOO MUCH sometimes. Gosh!
(2010-10-02 04:05:51)
 Welcome to the information age. :/ Johnny Mnemonic is going to save our heads from exploding with too much information.
(2011-02-21 03:42:00)
 oh, poor John... at least the cupcake is genuine. even if gluten-free ;)

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