Keanu Reeves Is Super Excited You All Tried To Mod Cyberpunk 2077 To F*ck Him
by Zack Zwiezen
Last year, when Cyberpunk 2077 came out—between all the bugs and problems players encountered—a group of modders decided to try and tinker with the game to let you fuck one of its main stars, Keanu Reeves. The famous actor plays Cyberpunk’s digital rebel cyberghost Johnny Silverhand, and while the mod did materialize, the game’s devs had it removed from a popular mod-hosting site because they weren’t comfortable letting Keanu’s model be used in something so explicit that he didn’t agree to. Well turns out, the dude is down with the fucking.
In an interview with The Verge for The Matrix Resurrections and the recently released Matrix/Unreal Engine 5 demo, Keanu Reeves admitted that he hadn’t yet played Cyberpunk 2077, having only seen some folks play it for him. However, he still got very excited about the prospect of people modding Cyberpunk 2077 to have sex with his character. We’re talking very excited, even fist-pumping and cheering when told that his was the most popular request from players looking to bang in-game NPCs.
However, when the interviewer explained that dev CD ProjektRed had the mod banned because they “were not sure they had permission to do this” Reeves reacted with genuine sadness, even letting out a long “Awwwwhhhhh….,” like a kid seeing a box of candy just out of reach.
When asked how he felt about all this, about players wanting to fuck him in the game, Reeves was pretty positive about it all. “Oh my god, it’s always nice, when it’s nice, and…y’know.”
However, his Matrix co-star Carrie-Anne Moss made sure to interject at this moment to let folks in dark corners of the internet know that she is very much not down with any of this virtual fucking.
“I on the other hand say ‘No thank you!’” said Moss, “No thank you. Keanu’s fine with it…”
At this point, Reeves interrupted his co-star and proceeded to explain how there is a lot of money in porn and how VR and the…metaverse(?) could be part of some grand plan to let him let you fuck his digital celeb avatar.
“So you could not even have to be there and people could have digital sex with your digital avatar...what’s it called right now, ‘For Members Only’? You could do a whole thing,” explained Reeves, gushing in a way that makes it seem like he’s been thinking about this for some time. “Oh my god then you get the suit that’s probably made in Sweden or some German thing, oh my god then you’ve got the VR thing. Then they’ve got the data on you with your like, arousal metrics...”
It’s around this point that Carrie-Anne Moss gave her thoughts on what she was hearing, adding: “I hope...that I do not live to see this.”
But Reeves isn’t done! Not even close. He continued, even while at this point both the interviewer and his co-star seemed confused and worried about him.
“So then you’re in the suit with arousal metrics through your members-only...metaverse x, so then you’re like take everything off and how do you feel about the relationships you’re in?”
“Great,” deadpanned Moss.
Reeves finished by answering his rhetorical. “But then you hold that real thing and you’re like, oh man I’m so glad we have reality.”
I’m pretty happy we have this reality too, considering that I get to watch a new Matrix film in two weeks and listen to Keanu Reeves rave endlessly about virtual sex via VR and the metaverse.