sideways from eternity

Adventures of the Keanuspawn

Reviews for "The Not-Particularly-Excellent Adventures of the Keanu-Spawn"

"words cannot describe the awesomeness."


"creative and fascinating. ... some parts brought my tears out"


"I enjoyed the conflicts, the mischief, the verisimilitude of one man meeting himself at the crossroads of reality, destiny, illusion and imagination..."


The Not-Particularly-Excellent Adventures of the Keanu-Spawn (2005.09.24–2010.02.13)

Keanu Reeves' characters | Standalone sequel to Real World. Several Keanu characters get transported to a mysterious hotel in an obscure part of the multiverse, and have to learn to work together if they are ever to get out. Personality clashes, chaos and hilarity ensue.

Reunion (2009.01.05)

Keanu + Alex + multi | He wants so much to join them. But he can't.

In Which Conor Steals Neo's Money & Neo Steals Conor's Jacket (2009.08.18)

Conor + Neo + Ludlow + Keanu | Conor steals Neo's money, so Neo steals Conor's really cool leather jacket

Cry Real Tears, the Ad Exec Said (2009.07.17)

Constantine + Nelson + Keanu + Kevin | Constantine and Nelson attempt to make Keanu cry.

The One with Ludlow and the Phonebook (2009.03.29)

Ludlow + Constantine | Ludlow is forced to read the phonebook for the entertainment of Keanu fans.

Conor and Jjaks Thing

Conor + Jjaks | Conor and Jjaks are exceedingly bad for each other.

Motel (2012.11.09)

Keanu + Neo | Neo doesn't like parties. Keanu doesn't even get invited.

One Last Call (2012.11.09)

Neo + Ted | It's been a long time.

At the Crossing (2012.11.18)

Neo | Neo is lonely and finds a new friend.

Respite (2013.05.26)

Constantine + Chris | John just wants a moment of peace

Diner (2014.10.23)

Keanu + Neo | sharing a meal

epilogue (poem) (2015.05.31)

Neo | afterlife

sunrise (poem) (2016.10.31)

Neo | after the revolution

Aftermath (2016.11.01)

Keanu + Wick + Multi | immortality

The Return (2016.11.13)

Donaka | Some villains never die.

Company (2016.11.19)

Keanu + Neo | Sometimes, Neo doesn't understand how someone like Keanu ever created someone like him.

breaking dawn (poem) (2017.03.14)

Constantine + Keanu + Neo | in the morning quiet

Ramen (2017.03.27)

Wick + Neo + Ludlow | just chilling at a ramen cafe

And Eternity in an Hour (2014.10.23)

Keanu + Neo + Multi | the final moments.

The Return (2017.03.30)

Ludlow + Constantine + Donaka | friends look out for each other

Outcast (2017.04.09)

Griffin | He's the only one his creator never loved

Ghosts (2017.05.14)

Alex + Keanu | in the wake of Neo's passing

team (poem) (2017.05.20)

Constantine + Ludlow | they have an understanding

Actor (2017.05.29)

Griffin | trying to be somebody else

Living (2017.05.29)

Will + Constantine | smoking is bad for you

Sarah (2017.07.17)

Keanu | the third intruder is familiar

Hannah (2017.09.09)

Jjaks | she knows he's not him

Palaver (2017.10.05)

Alex + Griffin | an encounter in the woods

Alternate Timelines

Thee Bakinge of Thee Cakke (2009.08.21)

AU: Multi | In which several Keanuspawn are forced to wear identic (sic) clothes and discuss a baking recipe

Thee Exkwisitte Artte of Table-Settinge and Flowere-Arranginge (2009.08.24)

AU: Multi | The same as above, but instead of cake baking, it's the exquisite art of table-setting and flower-arranging

For Now I See (2009–2010)

AU: Neo + Keanu | Three-parter short story series in which Neo is stuck in the real world, living with Keanu.
I. Through a Glass
II. Darkly, But Then Face to Face
III. Even As Also I Am Known

Good with Hostages (2009.08.04)

AU: Traven | Jack Traven knows how to deal with hostage situations

These Boots are Hard to Walk In (2009.02.20)

AU: Griffin + Neo + Trinity | Griffin impersonates Neo for the lulz.

Recruiting Jim

AU: Jim + Conor + Jjaks + Ludlow | Conor and Jjaks drop by on Jim from Passengers.

Pap-Knocking Fun (2012.02.07)

AU: multi | In which the Keanuspawn knock down paparazzi for the lulz.

The Character Exchange Programme (2008.06.06)

AU: Ted + Ludlow | Since some people claim Keanu's characters are all identical...

Showdown (2017.05.14)

AU: Wick | John Wick vs Agent Smiths.

Keanu Simulator! (2017.06.11)

AU: Keanu | You are Keanu Reeves, Hollywood movie star and the dark web's #1 cybercrime mastermind.