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Let's Take Uncyclopedia Seriously!
Anakin McFly
2008-08-28 21:34:24

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I declare this month Let's Take Uncyclopedia Seriously! Month.

In recent news, God has supposedly rewritten the Bible. Exodus 20 now has two new Commandments:

"11. Thou shalt not commit abortion more than twenty-three days after conception, for that is when I put the soul in. Twenty-three. You can remember that by thinking of Michael Jordan's jersey number, or that movie Jim Carrey was in.

12. I know I already said this, but what part of "Don't wear blended fabrics" didn't you understand? DO NOT WEAR BLENDED FABRICS. I'm serious about this, guys. You're pissing me off. I'm about to do a Great Flood for real this time. Don't push it.
"

And ! someone mentions Keanu in there:

"One surprising change was the insertion of the book "Olsen" between James and 1 Peter. The volume apparently consists of the private diary of Mary-Kate Olsen.

"I'm not sure how to take that," said confused televangelist Pat Robertson. "Is God suggesting that we should all aspire to marry Keanu Reeves when we grow up?"
"



http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:God_Rewrites_the_Bible
ckage
2008-08-28 22:15:25


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But, but! The month is about to end!


"Is God suggesting that we should all aspire to marry Keanu Reeves when we grow up?"

Well, I would not marry the guy; boink him, perhaps. Marry? Not really. I wounder where that puts me, religion-wise?

Because, I thought I wasn't a religious person, so I went to my favorite anime page, where I learned this about the main character:

"Himura Kenshin (aka Hitokiri BattĀ¶sai), born George Clooney, is one of the most famous ninjas of all time. Before he began his career as an assassin, however, he was a famous pop-singer in Japan. After releasing his greatest hits, Ready, Steady, Go, and Hi Hi Puffy-Ami-Yumi, Clooney got in a terrible accident involving a Star Destroyer and two Oompa-Loompas."

Uh. Impressive.

I also went along to my current favorite character page, from the anime Naruto, because the page for my favorite character of all times simply sucks.

I'm so confused. Now I'll have to re-watch those animes all over again.

Anakin McFly
2008-08-28 22:23:35

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"Himura Kenshin (aka Hitokiri BattĀ¶sai), born George Clooney, is one of the most famous ninjas of all time. Before he began his career as an assassin, however, he was a famous pop-singer in Japan. After releasing his greatest hits, Ready, Steady, Go, and Hi Hi Puffy-Ami-Yumi, Clooney got in a terrible accident involving a Star Destroyer and two Oompa-Loompas."

EverythingIsMagic
2008-08-31 01:39:39


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ckage said:

Well, I would not marry the guy; boink him, perhaps. Marry? Not really. I wounder where that puts me, religion-wise? 
ROTFLMAO
Anakin McFly
2008-09-03 16:16:47

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Agnostic?
ckage
2008-09-03 20:12:05


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It think it just makes me a perv.



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