| Bill & Ted's Bodacious Friends | |||
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| Dharke | 2008-03-02 23:57:30 | ||
 Forum Posts: 7 Comments: 0 Reviews: 0 | About two or three years ago, I pitched a movie idea where Bill and Ted meet various Keanu characters. I wrote the script as fun and with the intent of posting it on IMDB, but never did (???) Whilst searching for my old Connie VS Donnie stuff (which will remain mysteriously missing), I ended up finding this script. So I'm going to submit it scene by scene every so often. The first three scenes (or chapters) are crap. The rest slighly less. The characters involved are: The Watcher David Allen Griffin (he rules). Joel Campbell. Dr. Polly Beilman. Bill & Ted Ted "Theodore" Logan. Bill S. Preston, Esq. Chuck DeNomolos. The Princess Babes (Joanna and Elizabeth). The Matrix Neo. Trinity. Morpheus. Agent Smith. Various. Constantine John "Connie" Constantine. Angela Dodson. Speed Jack Traven. Annie Porter. The Gift Donnie Barksdale. Annabelle "Annie" Wilson. Much Ado About Nothing Don John. Prologue Starring Griffin (he rules), Dr. Beilman, the Joel and DeNomolos. æThe WatcherÆ ending. 2000. Boiler room. Night. Police vehicles wail outside. Griffin (he rules) throttles Dr. Polly Beilman. She coughs and chokes overdramatically. Wounded and witless, Joel Campbell watches the proceedings. Suddenly... Campbell Thank you. Griffin (he rules) pauses momentarily, barely slackening the piano wire. He regards Campbell, his expression softening. Griffin (he rules) What did you say? Campbell I said. "Thank you." With sadistic triumphant, the sexy strangler removes his hold. Beilman splutters gratefully. Griffin (he rules) approaches Campbell, silky footsteps generating delight and desire. He reaches the officer, kneeling audaciously. An ambiguous smirk darkens his amazing visage. His bare neck is painfully vulnerable. From his sleeve, Campbell discreetly smuggles out one of his heroin needles. Griffin (he rules) Tell me again. Joel I said. "Thank you." The words please our strangler friend. He smirks broadly. Guard down. Campbell seizes this susceptible opportunity. The needle flashes. Griffin (he rules) doesnÆt even notice. Before it can pierce angelic flesh, a phone box flattens both Campbell and his weapon. The violent impact sends Griffin (he rules) rocketing backwards. Comfortable pillows magically replace the flammable candles. The thick material breaks his nasty fall, and he escapes completely unharmed. Blood and gore ooze beneath the phone box. Griffin (he rules) stands and studies the mess. His expression flickers and fades, showing the slightest disappointment. Griffin (he rules) Oh. Patronising smile. Ouch. Beilman Hysterical sobbing. Boohoo! Joel! Boohoo! Griffin (he rules) twists the piano wire around BeilmanÆs neck. Beilman No! Please! DonÆt! His hold tightens . Gak! Gacka! Gak! The strangling continues. DeNomolos exits the phone box and stands beside Griffin (he rules), studying the murder, like a teacher marking his pupilÆs work. DeNomolos Warm smile. Cold heart. Strong arm. Fantastic fashion taste. Perfect. Griffin (he rules) Just doing my job. DeNomolos I have a better job. Darkly. LetÆs talk. Griffin (he rules) Sure. Beilman Gak! No! Please! Gak! With an extra tug, Griffin (he rules) finally silences his victim. BeilmanÆs head lolls lifelessly. Our strangler friend pockets the piano wire, looking rather erotic and ace. DeNomolos Impressive style! Griffin (he rules) Thanks. Took years. Quite a complex learning process. Patronising smile. Now whatÆs happening? Phone booths donÆt usually flatten my victims. Beat Wait. I know. I know. IÆm losing my mind. Right? Apparently itÆs a common business symptom. Probably residual creativity. People often complement my creative killings. Police officers and the like. Sometimes I canÆt use my creativity and this big repressive mass forms. The residual creativity accumulates in the left hemisphere. Finally it gets too big and permeates the right side. The creative spillage clouds logic and sanity. YouÆre obviously a creative leak. So. He smiles friendlily and playfully smacks DeNomolosÆs shoulder. DonÆt waste time concocting excuses. æKay? DeNomolos Admiringly. Blunt. Good. Very good. Beilman Reawakens. How...? Remembers. Joel! Griffin (he rules) sighs. The smile flickers briefly. He strangles Beilman. Again. Beilman No! Gak! Gak! SheÆs soon silenced. Griffin (he rules) checks her pulse. He nods slightly, confirming the death. DeNomolos About the job... Griffin (he rules) Businesslike. How can I help? DeNomolos Four morons need murdering. He hands Griffin (he rules) a photograph. You look like Ted. Griffin (he rules) Staring hard. With the atrocious hat? DeNomolos Impatiently. No. ThatÆs Bill. Griffen (he rules) The two girls? DeNomolos Angrily. No! The other boy! You blithering simpleton! Griffin (he rules) Looking sceptic. Hmm. I donÆt see the resemblance. He hands the photograph back. Why dead? DeNomolos Shuddering wrathfully. Those stupid, brainless fools! Face turns bright crimson. Their moronic music threatens my future world! Purple veins protrude dangerously. Death to Wyld Stallyns! Death to Bill and Ted! Griffin (he rules) Regarding DeNomolos with calm scepticism. Pfft. Come on. MusicÆs not threatening. Well. You can demolish a perfectly good instrument. Use the busted fragments like some sick weapon. Take piano wire for instance. You can commit countless barbaric atrocities. Strangulation predominantly. Maybe even castration. I see no other threats. DeNomolos Shouting violently. ThatÆs the whole point you imbecile! Spittle flying. ItÆs not threatening! Griffin (he rules) You just said- DeNomolos SILENCE! The stranglerÆs smile disappears. He forces a bemused grin, which disguises his anger and disappointment. Griffin (he rules) YouÆre no fun. Griffin (he rules) approaches the exit. DeNomolos More shouting and spittle. Where are you going? Griffin (he rules) Indignantly. Leaving. DeNomolos Blood vessels practically explode. WHAT? Griffin (he rules) Slight annoyance touches the patronising tones. Nobody insults my intelligence. Nobody interrupts my words. Apologise. DeNomolos Lowering his voice. Okay. Swears underneath his breath. Okay. Composes himself. I apologise. Griffin (he rules) Stops and smiles. The expression looks both natural and alluring. Good. Beilman Reawakens. Again. WhatÆs...? Remembers. Again. Help! Griffin (he rules) just stares. A slight tic threatens his left eye. His dark smile suppresses the spasm. He saunters towards Beilman, and she shrieks desperately. Past shrieking and strangling has hoarsened her voice, making it even more unbearable. He reaches Beilman and kneels. Their faces level. Beilman Please! No! Please! Not again! Please! Griffin (he rules) Lifts his index finger and mimes mock compassion. Shush... She screams loudly. An impatient edge touches his soothing tones. Shut. Up. His finger strokes her lips. She stops screaming. He makes the movement look menacing and magnificent. Now. Die. Beilman No! Please! He smirks and straightens. With suppressed savagery, he strangles his victim. A few fleshy fibres connect head and neck. Griffin (he rules) removes his gloves and checks her pulse. He nods in morbid satisfaction. Again. DeNomolos I trust during Wyld StallynsÆs assassination... YouÆll show more care? Griffin (he rules) Annoyed smile. Come on! DonÆt assume anything. I havenÆt even agreed. æCos. Well. IÆm still pretty pissed. DeNomolos Impatient sigh. Look! I apologised. What more do you want? A handwritten apology? You blithering simple- Griffin (he rules) purposefully clears his throat. You charming gentleman. Griffin (he rules) Gentleman? What the f... Loses temper. Come on! I donÆt care. About the names. About your blatant disrespect. I care... About Joel. You killed my good friend. My metaphysical brother. Voice rises angrily. Day after day. Night after night. IÆve followed and tortured him. Now tonight... Amongst kerosene pools and glowing candlelight. Between superb music and exquisite dancing. I planned killing that Polly bitch. Then him. Then myself. Instead. You appeared. You spoiled my fun. Shouting. Where are my candles? Do you know how much they cost? Where will I get the money? My victims? Young debt imbued females? Better chance murdering children. DeNomolos Staring heavenwards. He mouths several swearwords. Change your victims? Griffin (he rules) Slaps DeNomolosÆs shoulder. Look at me when I talk to you! Aggressively. Do you know how many hours... I wasted perfecting those candles? Wasted lighting them? Wasted burning my fingers? Awkwardly. Nine. Nine hours. DeNomolos Smiles mysteriously. The reward will solve your problems. Griffin (he rules) Smiling warily. What reward? DeNomolos Gestures towards the phone box. This booth travels through time. Past. Present. Even future. Assassinate Wyld Stallyns and you get the booth. Griffin (he rules) Joel. The smile darkens. Wyld Stallyns? Wyld Stallyns. What type of music? Classical? Piano? Rob Zombie? DeNomolos Rock. Griffin (he rules) Icy. Merciless slaughter. DeNomolos Approving smile. Soon. Mr. Allen. Soon Nods towards the phone box. Your carriage awaits. Griffin (he rules) Cheerfully slaps DeNomolosÆs shoulder. About time! Beilman Miraculously reawakens. Help! Help! Help! Griffin (he rules) Stares. Oh. Touching DeNomolosÆs shoulder. Again. Excuse me. Griffin (he rules) produces the piano wire. Beilman No! Please! No! He studies the stained instrument, looking both cynical and ace. With sadistic hesitation, he slowly pockets the weapon. Beilman stops screaming. Momentary silence. He retrieves CampbellÆs gun. Beilman No! No! No! Griffin (he rules) Smiling darkly. TimeÆs up. He shoots. Her head splatters. Gore covers the imaginary camera lens. Billy IdolÆs æSpeedÆ accompanies the naff and indistinct credits. The text superimposes BeilmanÆs blood, thus establishing an exceptionally low standard for this pointless exercise. Coming next: Griffin (he rules) seduces the Princess Babes... | ||
| Dharke | 2008-03-02 23:58:29 | ||
Forum Posts: 7 Comments: 0 Reviews: 0 | Chapter One Starring Griffin (he rules) and the Princess Babes. San Dimas. California. 1992. Empty mall. Early morning. Joanna and Elizabeth window-shop. Griffin (he rules) follows behind and keeps his distance. His presence goes unnoticed. Joanna Gosh! Are you anticipating the surprise? Elizabeth Most frightfully! Golly! I am exceedingly excited! And you dear Joanna? Joanna Oh rather! WilliamÆs quite the dark horse. Elizabeth Golly! So is Theodore! Joanna and Elizabeth use the up escalator. They stand together and babble enthusiastically. Our strangler friend remains unnoticed. He mounts the parallel escalator, further ensuring inconspicuousness. However, itÆs the down escalator. He continues walking and is subsequently hindered. Griffin (he rules) looks genuinely baffled, but stubbornly perseveres. Two steps forward and one step back. Elizabeth Golly! Will they like our anniversary gifts? Joanna Oh rather! TedÆs present looks spiffing. Gosh! HeÆll adore that new Wyld Stallyns jacket. Elizabeth I hope so! Hope Bill loves his new Wyld Stallyns hat. Joanna Oh rather! His old oneÆs literally crumbling. Elizabeth Golly! I hope our presents can rival their surprises. Joanna and Elizabeth reach the halfway mark. Our strangler friend still perseveres. He looks increasingly flustered. His stroll suddenly becomes a sprint and he makes significantly more progress. The oblivious princesses stand near the imaginary camera lens and converse excitedly. In the background, Griffin (he rules) runs level. Further ahead, an obese woman occupies his escalator. ThereÆs no passing room. Obese Woman IsnÆt this the down escalator? He retrieves his piano wire and strangles his latest victim. Joanna and Elizabeth donÆt even notice the womanÆs bloodcurdling screams. He silences the cries and throws her corpse down the escalator. Griffin (he rules) Next time... Smug smile. Patronising tone. Take the stairs. He regains the lost distance and overtakes the Princesses. TheyÆre still bloody oblivious. Further beyond, an obese bloke blocks his path. He looks completely disinterested, despite having just seen a barbaric murder. Obese Man Hey! Wrong escalator. Griffin (he rules) Not anymore. Griffin (he rules) throttles the man. The imaginary camera lens follows his progress. In the background, Joanna and Elizabeth innocently sail past on their escalator. Obese Man Jesus Christ! Help! Gak! Joanna Gosh! Did you say something Elizabeth? Elizabeth Golly! No Joanna. Joanna My imagination. I guess. Elizabeth Great musicians have great imaginations. The princesses giggle girlishly. Our strangler friend finishes his murder. He dumps the corpse and continues his journey. He easily passes an oblivious anorexic woman. Moments later, realisation strikes. He baulks. Griffin (he rules) Contemplative. I need some pleasure. He strangles the anorexic woman. Griffin (he rules) Smiling brightly. What a field day! The imaginary camera follows Joanna and Elizabeth. They continue blabbering unwittingly. In the background, Griffin (he rules) executes the same deadly pattern. He runs, strangles, runs, strangles, runs, strangles... His victims include the handicapped, young children and old age pensioners. At one point, two babies fly past the princessÆs heads. Still they notice nowt. Joanna Gosh! How long now? Elizabeth They said nine. Golly! Another hour. Joanna Spiffing! Elizabeth You think? Seems ages! Joanna, Elizabeth and Griffin (he rules) reach the upper floor and leave their respective escalators. The princesses continue prattling needlessly. Our strangler friend follows behind. He looks bloody knackered. Sweat soaks his hair and skin. He sways back and forth exhaustedly. Griffin (he rules) Breathing heavily. My... Ass... Thma... He produces an inhaler and breathes deeply. Cue phlegmatic æWatcherÆ respiration. Elizabeth Suddenly noticing her surroundings. Golly! I donÆt need this floor. Do you? Joanna Nope! Elizabeth Then why are we here Joanna? Joanna Gosh! I donÆt know. I just followed you. Elizabeth But I followed you! The princesses giggle girlishly. Griffin (he rules) nearly swallows his inhaler. Joanna Well. WeÆve finished our errands. What next? Elizabeth We could visit Officer LoganÆs house. IsnÆt Missy watching Little Bill and Ted? Joanna Oh rather! Pauses. Wait. TheyÆll probably visiting the park. Little Ted loves feeding the ducks. Elizabeth Little Bill too! Pauses. There is a SeattleÆs Best downstairs. Want some tea and scones? Joanna Oh! Rather! LetÆs return downstairs! Pip! Pip! Griffin (he rules) makes a strangled noise and drops the inhaler. Nobody notices. He collapses facedown on the ground. The heavy thud also goes unnoticed. The princesses turn around and approach the down escalator. He lies limply in their way. They casually step over him and reach their desired destination. Elizabeth Golly! Such strange decorations. Joanna Oh rather! Our strangler friend recovers and rises. His face remains completely blank, although a tic threatens his left eye. Griffin (he rules) Well I feel like an ass. Griffin (he rules) steadily retrieves the inhaler, then breathes savagely through the mouthpiece. He calms down and follows the princess babes. There are no further delays. Elizabeth Golly! She points. Blood marks several steps. This escalatorÆs dirty! Joanna Oh rather! SomebodyÆs spilt their tomato ketchup! Our strangler friend approaches. The princesses donÆt notice his advance, nor the heavy asthmatic breathing. Griffin (he rules) Aside. Close. Too close. He stops one step behind. His laborious breathing disturbs their clothing and accessories. Fake quills decorate their matching handbags. Griffin (he rules) doesnÆt notice. His heavy exhaling dislodges one. The feather strikes him in the gorgeous face. Griffin (he rules) Sniffing uncontrollably. Huh... Huh... Elizabeth Golly! Look! She points. Corpses cover the lower floor. Griffin (he rules) Eyes watering. Huh... Huh... Elizabeth Gosh! They slipped on the tomato sauce. Joanna Oh rather! TheyÆre unconscious! Griffin (he rules) AITCHOO! Joanna and Elizabeth notice nowt. His sneeze hurries the featherÆs downward spiral. It touches the ground, making little audible noise. The princesses scream and spin around. Fear mars their facial features. They see Griffin (he rules) and stop screaming. Their expressions communicate recognition. Then confusion. Joanna Ted?! Elizabeth Theodore?! Griffin (he rules) Charming smile. Ladies! You look adorable! Especially the way the sun enters through the ceiling and catches your hair. Twinkling merrily in your locks, like winking stars. Why even without the sun, youÆd generate the beauty and warmth yourself. Elizabeth YouÆre... Different... Griffin (he rules) Am I? Joanna Ted! What strange clothes you have! Griffin (he rules) All the better to hug you with my dear. Elizabeth Ted! What odd words you speak! Griffin (he rules) All the better to address you with my dear. Joanna Ted! What dark expressions you have! Griffin (he rules) All the better to smile at you with my dear. Elizabeth Ted! What peculiar piano wire you hold! Griffin (he rules) All the better to kil- Surprise you with my dear. Elizabeth Golly! Is this part of the surprise? Griffin (he rules) Sur- Of course! Joanna And the tomato sauce smeared on your neck? Griffin (he rules) Uh... Elizabeth And on your gloves? Joanna ItÆs dripping from your piano wire. What happened? Griffin (he rules) I went to SeattleÆs Best. But you know those little sachets of sauce they give you with your scones? I had some leftover, but I didnÆt want to waste them... So I put them in my pocket. When I was on the elevator earlier, they fell out and I stepped on them. Exploded everywhere! Elizabeth Oh! Of course! It makes perfect sense now! Joanna Yet you seem to have... Looking him up and down. Gained some extra weight in a single day. Our strangler friendÆs smile darkens slightly, before returning to its original beaming radiance. Griffin (he rules) Part of Will and IÆs surprise. Joanna Bill. Griffin (he rules) Yeah whatever. Follow me to the phone box. ItÆs part of the whole thing. He slides between them and hooks his arm around theirs. Griffin (he rules) saunters off with the Princess Babes. Coming next: Bill and Ted get a nasty shock. | ||
| Dharke | 2008-03-02 23:59:45 | ||
Forum Posts: 7 Comments: 0 Reviews: 0 | Chapter Two Starring Bill and Ted. San Dimas. California. 1992. Bill and TedÆs garage. They sit waiting for Joanna and Elizabeth to arrive. The room is decorated in various celebratory posters and cards. A banner reads "Happy one year anniversary". Bill Dude! WeÆve been waiting for hours! Where are Joanna and Elizabeth? Ted Yah. I am most worried. Do you think they are fed up with us? Bill Most heinous Ted! Maybe they just... Uh... Forgot? Ted Most possible. A knock rattles the garage door. TedÆs little brother Deacon appears carrying some colourful envelopes. Ted What are you doing here little bro? Deacon Got some more anniversary cards. By the way, Dad says Colonel Oates is coming round. Wants to congratulate you on your anniversary. Ted gulps. Eyes wide. Bill Uh... æKay Deacon. Catch ya later dude. Deacon nods and leaves. Ted paws through the envelopes. He pauses at one, which has red fingerprints splotching the side. Ted Whoa! Dude! WhatÆs this? ItÆs addressed to both of us! Bill Excellent! Open it! With an eager grin, Ted opens the envelope. Scrutinising the anniversary card, he discovers a photograph inside. It features Joanna and Elizabeth bound and gagged to chairs. The message in the card reads "nobody misses you more than them!" Ted Whoa! What a thoughtful card and a most excellent picture of the Princess Babes! This oneÆs going on the wall! Bill Uh. Ted. This is a most heinous anniversary. ItÆs not a celebratory card. SomebodyÆs kidnapped the Princess Babes! Ted Bogus! Bill and Ted sit in silence gawping vacantly at the wall. A flash of light flickers underneath the garage door. This does not stir them, until it lifts groggily. Rufus enters. Ted Whoa! Ruuufus! Rufus My most excellent comrades! How are you dudes? Bill Uh most heinous Rufus. We arranged to see our most excellent babes at eight this morning. WeÆve been waiting here since eight tonight. TedÆs little bro Deacon has just given us a card pertaining to the whereabouts of the Princess Babes- TheyÆve been abducted. Ted Yah! Rufus And they're going to be murdered. Bill and Ted get to their feet in simultaneous outrage. Bill and Ted No way! Rufus Yes way! DeNomolos is back! Bill That is non-non-non-non-non-non heinous! Ted Yah! Rufus DeNomolos has sent a cold blooded killer to take care of the Princess Babes. Ted Take care? Excellent! So theyÆre okay? Bill No Ted. Someone to kill them. Ted Oh. Beat. Bogus! Rufus DeNomolosÆs hired help goes by the secret alias David Allen Griffin. HeÆs a serial killer. Ted A serial killer? What? Does he like kill cereal? Bill No Ted. ItÆs when a bad actor kills a good serial. Ted Oh! Like that guy from GulliverÆs Travels? Bill Yah! Rufus Dudes! ItÆs neither of those things! A serial killer kills people! The Princess Babes are going to be killed at nine tonight, unless you stop him. Ted Glances at his watch. Why! ItÆs only eleven am now. Rufus No Ted. ItÆs eight pm. YouÆve only got an hour. Bill Ah Ted! You forgot to wind your watch again! Ted Setting his watch. But how can we find the cereal killer in an hour? Rufus Leads them to his phone box. This new phone box model can travel through different alternative universes, as well as past, present and future. Bill and Ted Whoa! Rufus Ted has several most excellent alternative Teds. Use these dudes to help you fight DeNomolos. Ted Alternative Mes? Bill and Ted Excellent! They air guitar. Rufus Good luck Amigos.. Rufus gets into the phone box. Bill ArenÆt you coming, Rufus? Rufus Sorry guys. As always, IÆm needed in the future. Smiles apologetically. Catch ya later Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted Catch ya later Rufus! With a flash of lightening, the box vanishes. Another quickly take its place. Bill and Ted enter. Bill Ted my friend? Ted Yes Bill my friend? Bill This looks like a most bodacious voyage. Ted Yah! Long as the Princess Babes are okay. Bill Yah. Me too. Bill flicks through the phone book. Ted peers over his shoulder at the pages. Bill Falco, Shane. Uh. Favor, Scott. Uhm. OÆNeill, Conor. Whoa. I guess these are all alternative yous, Ted. Ted Yah! Which one should we pick? Bill Well. HereÆs one. HeÆs from the future. Says he can stop bullets midair. Knows kung fu too. Ted Whoa! HeÆd be a most excellent match for that cereal killer. Bill Yah! Says his name is Neo. Ted Neil? Bill Yah! So letÆs go see Neil. Ted dials the number and they vanish. Coming next: Bill and Ted meet various Matrix friends. | ||
| Dharke | 2008-03-03 00:00:40 | ||
Forum Posts: 7 Comments: 0 Reviews: 0 | Chapter Three Starring Bill, Ted and various Matrix characters. Zion. The Future. Loud rave music. A naked Neo and Trinity shag in a hidden room. A flashing subtitle appears on the imaginary screen. It says: "NeoÆs full frontal nude shot coming up. Press the pause button on your remote control in three seconds... "Three..." A flash of lighting disturbs them. Bill and TedÆs phone box crashes down near their heads. Neo and Trinity leap to their feet in shock. "Two..." They search frantically for their clothes, but the phone box has landed on top of them. Trinity hides behind Neo, concealing much of her body. "One..." He stands completely naked. A fantastic-high-key-lit-long-shot provides an excellent pause point. Bill and Ted Whoa! They get out of the phone box. Ted To Neo Greetings future alternative me! Bill Yah! Greetings future alternative Ted! Neo Who are you? Bill IÆm William S. Preston Esquire... Ted And IÆm Ted Theodore Logan. Bill Together weÆre Bill and Ted WYLD STALLYNS! Trinity Remaining behind Neo. Senitals! Kid Rushes into the room, cradling a silky cushion. It has NeoÆs head stitched into a heart. Neo! Neo! I love you Neo! Spies naked Neo. He drops the pillow and faints. Bill Oh hi there future dude! Councillor Hamann Waddles into the room. WhatÆs all this ruckus? Is it another machine I donÆt know how to work? He sees the naked couple and clutches his chest. Euugh! My heart! He topples over. Ted Cheerfully. Hi! Commander Locke Storms through the doorway. What on blazers is going on in here? For one evening, I want peace and quiet. Do I get it? N- Gapes at Neo and Trinity. Bill Also cheerfully Hello there! The other councillors enter the room, all complaining about the noise, until they spy Neo and Trinity. An awkward silence ensures. Those in charge of ZionÆs defences appear and their complaints also fall into silence. The ship captains and crews appear, all complaining and falling into simultaneous silence. The ghosts of Mouse, Switch and Cypher float through the wall. Switch sports angel wings, Cypher horns and a tail, whilst Mouse has nothing. Mouse Are we in the right place? Cypher Staring at NeoÆs naked body. This is definitely Hell. Switch Grinning at TrinityÆs More like Heaven. Mouse Eyes flicking between Neo and Trinity. Purgatory! They float away. Then the rave goers appear, magically squeezing into the roomÆs tiny confines. They encircle Neo, Trinity, Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted continue smiling stupidly and waving, whereas Neo and Trinity look incredibly uncomfortable. Neo manages to recover the squashed clothes. Niobe [O/S] Are you sure this room isnÆt already taken? I thought I heard voices... Morpheus [O/S] Nonsense! No one will see us making out! That stupid idiot Locke will never know! When are you splitting up with him anyway? Niobe [O/S] After our anniversary. IÆm holding out for an expensive present. Maybe an upgrade on the Logos. Then IÆll dump him. Morpheus [O/S] Splendid! Want any help undressing? Niobe [O/S] Look at you! IÆm a strong, independent black woman! I can take my clothes off myself. Thanks! Ghost [O/S] Hope I can get Trinity alone. SheÆs wasting her time with Neo. Still... This threesome looks promising. Morpheus, Niobe and Ghost enter the room and freeze. Commander Locke looks as if heÆs either going to burst into tears or explode with rage. Morpheus sees Neo and Trinity quickly dressing. Morpheus Casually. Finished Neo? Trinity We're not finished! We've been disturbed by machines- Agents- Something that doesn't belong in Zion. Bill and Ted grin vacantly. They put their hands on their hearts and raise a hand each. Bill Hi future civilisation and future alternative Ted. IÆm Bill. Ted Yah! Hi future civilisation and future alternative me. IÆm Ted. WeÆre also from the future. The Zionhites mumble in bewilderment. Neo looks perplexed, whereas Trinity stares at Bill and Ted icily. Morpheus This boy resembles Neo... Is it possible... He is the real One? Everybody theatrically gasps. I propose a challenge in the Matrix! Coming next: The challenge. | ||
| 2008-03-03 10:17:35 | |||
ADMIN Forum Posts: 3074 Comments: 405 Reviews: 1 | YAY!!! MORE MORE MORE  Cereal killer, heheh... Your signature scares me.  | ||
| keanugirl76 | 2008-03-10 22:01:40 | ||
| Forum Posts: 268 Comments: 0 Reviews: 0 | WHOA! Ted A serial killer? What? Does he like kill cereal? Bill No Ted. ItÆs when a bad actor kills a good serial.  | ||
| 2008-11-05 23:23:11 | |||
ADMIN Forum Posts: 3074 Comments: 405 Reviews: 1 | DHAAAAAARKE... It's been eight months.  More? Please? | ||
| 2008-11-06 04:26:49 | |||
| Forum Posts: 4842 Comments: 381 Reviews: 13 | *ahem* speaking of which.... how's that final draft coming along ? | ||
| 2008-11-06 09:22:24 | |||
ADMIN Forum Posts: 3074 Comments: 405 Reviews: 1 | Er.  I've got... essays and stuff due. um, yeah. And I've been making banners for the splitting up of the archives into bits, like so:     | ||
| 2008-11-06 14:54:03 | |||
| Forum Posts: 4842 Comments: 381 Reviews: 13 | I like the banners. you're forgiven | ||
| 2008-11-06 16:09:33 | |||
ADMIN Forum Posts: 3074 Comments: 405 Reviews: 1 | yayz.  Meanwhile, KEVIN HAS A SOFA AND HE'S NOT GETTING OFF IT:  | ||
| 2008-11-07 01:07:29 | |||
| Forum Posts: 4842 Comments: 381 Reviews: 13 | PS - the above was me. can we post here without being registered ? tsk, tsk, ... glitch in the Matrix, this is ...  | ||
| 2008-11-07 07:52:34 | |||
ADMIN Forum Posts: 3074 Comments: 405 Reviews: 1 | My father has suggested that I be a copyrighter many times, because apparently all you have to do is come up with the occasional ad, get paid a whole lot of money for it, and spend the rest of your time doing whatever you like... Yeah, guests can reply here, since I figured that most fanfic is public-access anyway. | ||
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