WINM Forums :: The Website :: Away until 25 June

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Away until 25 June
axie
2014-09-14 05:54


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No worries, you're welcome and thanks for the nice comment. There are many in the fandom which I too have generally avoided who are just sick in the head. There is a sense of entitlement, like they own him. He is a human being. People are people.
No one owns another human, even if you're married. Take it easy.
axie
2014-09-14 06:14


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Another problem I guess is the difficulty they had in finding the courthouse. It really wasn't hard to find but St Bernard Parrish is rather large. Also, it isn't a courthouse anymore. It was but now it's a library and police sub station.

There was at least 6-7 different films/tv shows being done in the *region* too. In fact, two were being done in the little town of St Bernard less than a mile from each other. Extras and background cast were going to the wrong set - so I was told.

The courthouse is in St Bernard, St Bernard Parrish, Louisiana and it was closer to the MS border than downtown New Orleans. ;) In Louisiana and MS there are a lot of Bayou roads. The place was close to my family. I'm the only one to live in Florida. The rest live there or Chicago. Sister just moved there this month from New Mexico

Bliss
2014-09-14 10:20


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I don't understand why you gave so many details on a very special experience, but thanks for sharing. Your memories are sacred and can't be touched, it's your choice to ignore the negativity. Maybe it's best to learn from your mistake sharing and opening up to the wrong people?? I have done it and learned. Peace!
Spirit
2014-09-14 12:18


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I loved reading about all of your experiences! And true, it is hard to know who you can trust and tell things to. Too many people get overly defensive and rude when someone has a different opinion than them, or has done something they could only dream of doing.

@Ani, the note was awesome, and I don't think the pictures were too much, as has been said, if it had been a problem, then it most likely wouldn't have been possible at all, due to security measures such as very large walls. That combined with the fact that he wasn't even home, I see no problem.

@axie, you shouldn't have to validate your meeting with pictures or extensive details, especially when among friends, but unfortunately people can change in an instant and go from your best friend to your worst enemy. Best to you and your daughter, and I'm glad you got to have that experience, despite some of the negative reactions that others have had to it. Just ignore that negativity and bask in the memories of good times.

A random toasting cheers to all.

neaura
2014-09-14 21:11


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@Axie: Perceptions, opinions, thoughts and beliefs, one forms the base for the other. As long as our actions do not rob another of his or her choices and free will(hope there is something like that), no belief can be termed right or wrong. Though i have a hard time understanding jealousy and envy as driving agents of unacceptable acts, i have seen people do crazy things :(. Your life isn't a courthouse drama and you are not on the witness stand. No interrogations, cross examinations or evidence submissions are necessary. It is your experience, period. As long as you do not let anyone diminish its value, no one can. By the looks of it you are more worldly wise than me but i say this with total respect and base it on the teensy bit of knowledge and experience I've had with Home sapiens, though I've been reliably informed that i am an alien, thankfully not green and even more thankfully with 5 fingers and opposable thumbs.

It was a beautiful experience and i hope you get to have many such in future, in every aspect of life that is !!

@Ani: I'm an introvert with a capital everything and i wouldn't have had the balls to do what you did. Man, i don't know if I will even manage a hi if i see him (and that is one big friggin if). I'd probably bury my head under the sand like an ostrich. Sweet little note too! Wonder if he saw it(is it too late to hope? considering it was in '11?) :)

axie
2014-09-14 22:08


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Spirit-Haze and Neaura

thank you for such lovely replies. Unfortunately one doesn't even need to give much details to have someone be negative.
:/

That said, of course no one could take the experience from me or dear daughter. It was fun. But when people do actively go out of their way in an attempt to be negative to prevent you from sharing that's not so fun. I love reading other people's stories and didn't think how many wouldn't want to know mine.
~


I don't understand why you gave so many details on a very special experience, but thanks for sharing. Your memories are sacred and can't be touched, it's your choice to ignore the negativity. Maybe it's best to learn from your mistake sharing and opening up to the wrong people?? I have done it and learned. Peace!

Hmm. Too many details? Learn from my mistake? What mistake was that Bliss? It's not like I was kissing and telling - the entire thing is so benign, what's the big deal? Why should I stay quiet? Every day is a learning experience.

LucaM
2014-09-14 22:39


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To quote a certain movie trailer: fortune favors the bold ;)

neaura
2014-09-14 22:45


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You're welcome axie :-)
@LucaM :oh noo, i just hid my ostrich head under the sand.
A great person once said that we have to face our fears. Yours faithfully will work on it
axie
2014-09-14 22:59


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I admit was blindsided by the jealousy that I encountered, being called a liar and the lies about me. Ya know, honestly thought I had left that behind in High School hehe.
This too many details thing has me perplexed though?

As for worldly woman? Heh. Thanks. Been very lucky to travel as much as I have in my life. Lived in Chicago, Cali, Australia and now Florida [FloriDUH].

Have to date a strange life but rarely boring. Friends often say "only you" regarding the funny, strange and wonderful experiences I've had.

Bliss
2014-09-14 23:00


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"Hmm. Too many details? Learn from my mistake? What mistake was that Bliss? It's not like I was kissing and telling - the entire thing is so benign, what's the big deal? Why should I stay quiet? Every day is a learning experience. "

If people don't know they can't harass you was my point. You have mentioned it many times about people being 'jealous' and 'calling you and your daughter names' I guess if it was me, I would just see it as to keep it to myself next time?

axie
2014-09-14 23:40


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If people don't know they can't harass you was my point. You have mentioned it many times about people being 'jealous' and 'calling you and your daughter names' I guess if it was me, I would just see it as to keep it to myself next time?

I automatically rebel against anyone's attempt to shame and silence me. Doesn't matter the topic.

I wasn't at fault for discussing it. The behavior of others is the disgrace. But lets excuse them by shutting women up. This is true of everything from domestic violence to rape and abortion. shhh don't talk about it.

MmeRenard
2014-09-15 00:57


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Axie, I couldn't agree more about everything you just wrote. It is entirely up to you to share as much or as little as you CHOOSE. The way we stop women from being silenced in every setting - as you correctly named this - is to refuse to be silenced, to put the responsibility for the attempts to shame and silence right back where it belongs.

Others' bizarre reactions of jealousy (and yes, it is jealousy) and also, I've noticed, some perverse desire to see Keanu as a "bad boy" (and not a nice person, a cad, someone who dislikes fans etc) are their own, and they are borderline sociopathic. Thank you for having the courage and trust to share your lovely encounters here.

I have absolutely seen people within the entertainment industry (or more likely on the wannabe fringes) actively try to convince fans that stars (and certainly not only Keanu) dislike fans. There's a reason for that - the more contact actors, entertainers, artists have with fans and vice versa, the more we all see each other as people, and that throws a monkeywrench in the conventional notions of entertainment marketing. Can't have that, can we?
I saw Keanu with Dogstar in Boston interacting in the most lovely way with a fan while completely ignoring the paparazzi who surrounded them. It was elegant.

You know some of the places to which I refer, too. "I'm having an online relationship with Keanu." "That's not really Keanu." "Keanu dumped me online, he's such a jerk!"
It's completely insane, and it's ugly.

Axie, you are in no way at fault here.
If others have experiences that they want to keep to themselves, that is entirely their decision, and I respect and understand that. They also cannot and should not tell you what you can or cannot say, what you should or should not say.
The detail, the amount of detail, that you choose to give is yours to decide. No one has the right to criticize you for that, and to do so is odd at best.

You made no "mistake" - the only mistake made when someone shares these lovely stories is that of those who see it as somehow transgressive to share your experience. I was also told that I was "bragging" which was anything but my intention. Personally, I happened to be at the right place at the right time on a few occasions, and I've only ever repeated those experiences to emphasize what a kind person Keanu is. It's not about me at all - it's about the person he is. A good man.

Thanks again, Axie. Please be who you are. I feel like I understand you better, and I'm really happy about that. Have a wonderful day.

neaura
2014-09-15 01:48


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This too many details thing has me perplexed though? 

You are entitled to share your experiences to anybody, anywhere. It's in one's prerogative to share and no can ever rob you of any chance to do so. As long as you are comfortable with what you divulge, there can be nothing more beautiful or wisdom-inducing than an experience. I for one believe that an experience shared is an experience gained!
Though my circle is minuscule at best, my best friend lets me see the world i can't see, at least for now, through her eyes. I greatly value that.
And i was right about the worldly wise part! Well, if taken literally, i haven't seen my own backyard,wait a second! I don't have one! My health does not permit me to travel and experiences like these give me hope and joy and a possibility for me to see through the eyes of another person. So thanks! :-)
Bliss
2014-09-15 02:03


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Domestic violence? Rape???

What just happened, Ax? Are you a private person when it comes to family and friends? I assumed it was a yes, that's what I was implying. PRIVACY! I am done.

MmeRenard
2014-09-15 02:21


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"You are entitled to share your experiences to anybody, anywhere. It's in one's prerogative to share and no can ever rob you of any chance to do so."

Exactly, Neaura, thank you. It is entirely Axie's right - and no business of anyone else - to decide her chosen degree of privacy. Axie is an adult perfectly capable of deciding for herself what she chooses to share. Axie has been very clear about how she has experienced the insane side of fandom, is aware of the possibility and clearly decided to risk that here. Thank you, Axie. I deeply hope that your trust in this as a safe place is not abused by anyone.

And hey! Look! We've somehow moved to not talking about Axie's lovely experience, that of her daughter, Keanu's generosity and decency. Let's get back to that, because THAT is the point of this discussion.

Anakin McFly
2014-09-15 09:33

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Thanks for sharing your experience, Axie! I agree that you have the right to decide how much you share with others, and they have no right to shut you up; their negative reaction is their own and has nothing to do with you.

At the same time, I don't think it's at all similar or comparable to shaming women into silence about rape or abuse, and does an injustice to those cases. There, the purpose is to silence women so they don't get to speak up about negative experiences and stand up for themselves against the harm that was done or is being done to them, so as to 'protect' the men responsible from any consequences. Whereas here, they're trying to silence you from sharing something positive, out of jealousy; and it's definitely not to 'protect' Keanu, but rather the opposite, where your story challenges their negative (rather than positive) perception of him. The motives are completely different; and for instance, if someone had a bad experience about say Keanu hurting them, I'm willing to bet that those same people would be extremely eager to hear it, rather than insist they shut up and leave poor Keanu alone no matter what horrible things he might have done. That would be the conventional form of shaming women into silence, imo, and has happened in other fandoms, whereas what they're doing to you is something else altogether.

I'm not sure what that says about them. :/ Traditionally, fans like hearing good things about their object of affection, and strive to silence the negative rather than positive.

LucaM
2014-09-15 17:49


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It depends, Ani. There are many shades to any fandom, and KR's fandom is no exception. There are some corners of his fandom which are particularly 'special'. There's a certain shadow about them ;)
Then again, they do make for excellent case studies of human psychology...

I guess in this case, it was also personal jealousy towards axie. As in, how dares she? How dares she approach the actor, and then post online about it? Nooooo, personal encounters with 'the One' are reserved for a selected few, or so the myths would have us believe... Her experience should not have existed so let's discredit it. :|
It tells a lot about certain people, to be sure :|


@axie - your daughter's reaction was priceless :) and sweet :)
just a guy in a suit, huh ? ;)

MmeRenard
2014-09-15 21:11


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I understand what you're saying, Anakin, and I respect that, but it does feel somewhat similar the other situations in which I've experienced "how dare you? STFU!" It is shaming, silencing - the situation is far less intense, of course, but the feeling is pretty similar.
Anakin McFly
2014-09-15 23:47

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Yeah, I agree that it's both shaming and silencing. But it felt like a different sort, and unlike the other type (silencing women who try to stand up for themselves when men hurt them) doesn't emerge from that same place of misogyny. I've seen those particular people happily trash Keanu's male fans/friends as well in the exact same way, so what I was getting at was that there's likely something else informing their behaviour other than the desire to keep women quiet.

That's just splitting hairs, though.

Bliss
2014-09-16 00:03


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Are you guys talking about my post, STILL? Because I didn't say be silent out of shame or fear, what's crazy is having to explain the obvious. I was meaning being selective which people you disclose precious memories with. I also mentioned the choice of the negativity, look at this convo. I mean LOOK at it. My point being made, You guys see only what you think or want to see. My advice is based on what I would do, it's common sense. Share with whom you trust, or not and fight about it for weeks. Lol

""". Maybe it's best to learn from your mistake sharing and opening up to the wrong people?? I have done it and learned. Peace!""""""

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